โ™ช CLICK HERE TO ENABLE THE PHYSGUN EXPERIENCEโ„ข (music) โ™ช
๐Ÿšจ BREAKING: PHYSGUN SOUTH SUDAN DATA CENTER NOW ONLINE โ€” JUBA REGION PING NEVER BETTER ๐Ÿšจ
โ˜… PHYSGUN HOSTING โ€” NOW SERVING JUBA, SOUTH SUDAN โ˜… OUR FASTEST AFRICAN LOCATION YET โ˜… 1.41 GBPS BONDED SATELLITE UPLINK โ˜… POWERED BY TWO CAR BATTERIES AND A GENERATOR โ˜… VOTE FOR OUR NEXT LOCATION BELOW โ˜… UPTIME SLA: best effort (we will try) โ˜… "where's our server?" โ€” it's in south sudan now โ˜… MINGZU HOSTING HAS NOTHING ON US โ˜… WE ACCEPT PAYMENT IN LIVESTOCK โ˜… FREE DDOS PROTECTION (we unplug the server) โ˜…โ˜…โ˜…       

Official Garry's Mod & Rust Server Provider • Global Infrastructure • ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ NOW IN SOUTH SUDAN
โ˜… โ˜… โ˜… JUBA REGION SERVERS ONLINE โ˜… โ˜… โ˜…
Welcome to the NEW physgun.com โ€” redesigned for the modern web!
๐ŸŒ PRESS RELEASE โ€” PHYSGUN EXPANDS TO SOUTH SUDAN
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๐ŸŽ‰ PHYSGUN JUBA DATA CENTER IS LIVE ๐ŸŽ‰

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ ๐Ÿ”ซ ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ

We are thrilled to announce that Physgun Hosting has officially expanded to Juba, South Sudan โ€” bringing blazing-fast game server hosting to the East African market and finally giving Rust players in the region the low-latency experience they have been emailing us about (both of them).

LOCATION : Juba, South Sudan (near the good generator)
UPLINK : 1.41 Gbps Bonded Satellite (clear skies only)
POWER : 2x Diesel Generators + 1 backup car battery
COOLING : Open window (seasonal)
RACK SPACE : 1x folding table in air-conditioned shed
SECURITY : 1x padlock + Anthony's cousin watches it
PING TO EU : ~380ms (respectable)
PING TO US : ~520ms (we're working on it)
PING LOCAL : sub-12ms within Juba city centre
UPTIME SLA : 69% guaranteed, 94% during dry season
BACKUP PLAN : Anthony drives to the shed
STAFF ON-DC : Anthony (remote). Levi (also remote). The goat (on-site).

"We looked at a map and South Sudan was there, so we went for it." โ€” Physgun CEO

๐Ÿšง JUBA CONTROL PANEL COMING SOON โ€” CURRENTLY MANAGED VIA WHATSAPP ๐Ÿšง
๐Ÿ“ก LIVE NETWORK STATUS โ€” JUBA DC
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> Connecting to Juba Satellite Uplink...
> Signal acquired. Strength: 2/5 bars
> Bandwidth test: 1.41 Gbps (theoretical) / 0.3 Mbps (actual)
> Generator fuel level: 43%
> WARNING: Goat detected near ethernet cable
๐Ÿ—ณ WHERE SHOULD PHYSGUN HOST NEXT? โ€” CAST YOUR VOTE
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After the overwhelming success of our South Sudan launch, we're already scouting our next expansion. Help us decide where to deploy infrastructure next:

๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท Tehran, IranGreat regional coverage. May require government co-management.
341
๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช Caracas, VenezuelaExcellent uptime when the power is on. Plans priced in bolivars (bring a wheelbarrow).
219
๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ต Pyongyang, North KoreaVery exclusive. Access limited to 1 concurrent user (state-assigned).
178
๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด Mogadishu, SomaliaStrong upside. Natural DDoS protection (nobody messes with us).
119
๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ถ McMurdo Station, AntarcticaBest natural cooling. No users within 3,000km. Operationally ideal.
91
๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ Havana, CubaRetro aesthetic matches our website. Cigars included with Nuke plan.
51
999 votes cast so far
โœ… VOTE RECORDED! WE WILL PROBABLY IGNORE IT.

* This poll is legally binding. Physgun reserves the right to open a data center wherever the ping is worst. Results may be influenced by Anthony's personal travel wishlist. Not valid in locations where Physgun is already banned.

๐Ÿ’ฐ Juba-Region Server Packages
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๐Ÿ”ซ Physgun๐Ÿ”ง Toolgunโ˜ข Nuke HOT
Physgun
  • 512MB RAM (shared with goat cam)
  • 1 Intel Pentium IV
  • 2GB HDD (mostly logs)
  • 10 player slots
  • DDoS: PHX plate wall
  • Ping: "fast-ish"
  • Support: WhatsApp only
$4.20/mo
(or 2 chickens/mo)
Toolgun
  • 2GB RAM
  • 2x AMD FX-8150
  • 20GB SSD (it fell off a truck)
  • 32 player slots
  • DDoS: 2x PHX plate walls
  • Ping: "depends on weather"
  • Support: WhatsApp + email (checked weekly)
$9.99/mo
(or 1 goat/mo)
Nuke
  • 8GB RAM (dedicated generator)
  • 4x AMD FX-8150
  • 100GB SSD
  • 128 player slots
  • DDoS: entire PHX fortress
  • Ping: "we promise nothing"
  • Support: Anthony's personal phone
$19.99/mo
(or 1 cow/mo)

* All Juba-region plans subject to generator availability. "Uptime" measured in "mostly up." Transfer speed capped at 2.82 Mbps Bonded DSL during dry season. Wet season: best effort. All prices in USD or equivalent livestock at current market rates. Physgun is not responsible for servers lost to acts of God, acts of goat, or acts of Levi.

โญ What Our Juba Customers Are Saying
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JubaGamer2026 writes: "ping is 380ms but that is still better than before when there was no server at all. 5 stars"
xX_DarkRPKing_Xx writes: "physgun had my darkrp server running in no time. generator went out twice but anthony fixed it over whatsapp. incredible support"
EastAfricaRustLord writes: "finally i can host a rust server without 900ms ping. physgun is a hero. also please add a nairobi node next"
NotABotFromJuba writes: "i am a real person from south sudan who plays garry's mod. this is very believable. 10/10"
MingzuRefugee writes: "left mingzu hosting for physgun. my server no longer runs on a microwave. the juba node is unironically better than what i had before"
GoatWatcher69 writes: "the goat cam is my favorite feature. i watch it more than i play rust. the goat is currently chewing on something important"
๐Ÿ“– GUESTBOOK โ€” Sign Our Wall!
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Leave a message for the Physgun team! Your IP has been logged (probably).

~*xXShadowL0rdXx*~ (02/14/2026): cool site!! check out my geocities page!! [link removed by admin]
Anthony (03/28/2026): testing if the guestbook works. it works. -Anthony
Levi (03/28/2026): why did you make a guestbook
Anthony (03/28/2026): because its 1995 levi
JubaGamer2026 (03/31/2026): first person to sign from south sudan!! ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ
SERVER_GOAT (04/01/2026): baaaa
๐Ÿ LIVE GOAT CAM โ€” Juba DC Security Feed
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STATUS: Goat is near the server rack
CAM 01 โ€” JUBA DC โ€” LIVE

Feed updates every 8 seconds. Goat may or may not respond to commands. Physgun is not responsible for goat behavior.

๐ŸŽ JUBA DC SPEED TEST
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Test your connection to the Juba Data Center. Results may vary based on satellite weather, generator status, and goat proximity.

* Speed measured in Juba Optimized Kilobits (JOK). 1 JOK โ‰ˆ 0.3 real kilobits. Not responsible for emotional damage caused by results.

๐Ÿ”— Physgun WebRing
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This site is part of the Game Server Hosting WebRing. All 1 members.
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Click here to return to the REAL physgun.com (if you dare leave)
๐Ÿ’ฌ Live Support (Juba)
โœ•
System: Connecting to Juba support center...
System: Connection established (380ms)
Anthony: helo how can i helpp u
Anthony: generator is back on
Levi: sup
โœ• It looks like you're trying to host a game server in South Sudan. Would you like help?
๐Ÿ“Ž
๐Ÿ”„ Refresh (please don't)
๐Ÿ“„ View Source

โš™ Server Properties
๐Ÿ Check Goat Status
โ›ฝ Generator Fuel Level

๐Ÿ“ก Ping Juba DC
๐Ÿ˜ค File Complaint

๐Ÿ–จ Print (printer not found)
๐Ÿ’พ Save Page (no disk space)
Physgun Hosting

An error has occurred in the Juba Data Center. To continue:

Press CTRL+ALT+DEL to restart your server. If you do this,
you will lose all unsaved progress and your DarkRP money.

Error: 0E : 016F : BFF9B3D4 GENERATOR_FUEL_EMPTY
Error: GOAT_ATE_ETHERNET_CABLE
Error: ANTHONY_IS_ASLEEP

* Press any key to return to physgun.com .....................

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๐ŸŒ physgun.com โ€” Juba DC
Generator: online
๐Ÿ”’ Secure (probably)